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Release Date: May 19th, 2006 Director: Ron Howard Writer: Akiva Goldsman Starring Tom Hanks, Jean Reno, Audrey Tautou, Ian McKellen, Alfred Molina, Paul Bettany Studio: Columbia Pictures Genre: Thriller Official Site: SoDarkTheConOfMan.com Rating: PG-13 for disturbing images, violence, some nudity, thematic material, brief drug references and sexual content Runtime: 146 minutes Prod. Notes: Download (PDF) Galleries: Movie Stills  |  On Set Hot Talk: Da Vinci Code Forum Videos: More Clips

It’s become a race. Which group can organize fastest to reach Average Joe: "I feel your pain" legislators vowing to make inquiries into gas prices on his behalf, or Christian groups calling on experts to get him to boycott "The Da Vinci Code" on May 19?

Judging by the e-mails they send to Seacoast Media Group several times a day, the fundamentalists seem to be winning. Of course not all Christians are involved and most don’t want a boycott of the film — they just want to talk it to death so no one wants to see the thing, they just want to hide until the hype is over.

"The Da Vinci Code" has sold more than 40 million copies, has yet to leave the best-seller list and will apparently never leave the headlines — from Dan Brown’s plagiarism suits to the Opus Dei apology pursuit to the boycott push. The debunkists may be angling for a "Da Vinci" ban, but they are playing straight into the "all publicity is good publicity" machine.

The film’s holy trinity — Ron Howard, Tom Hanks and Dan Brown — have defended the book as a work of fiction while welcoming criticism of its themes as a way to foster further religious debate. It seems to be working, since tongues are wagging even in Brown’s hometown. Ted Sri, author of "The Da Vinci Deception," will speak at 7 p.m. May 18 at St. Michael Catholic Church in Exeter.

Message boards are lighting up about the movie, with forum titles ranging from "I’m boycotting any theater that shows this crap" to "If we evolved from monkeys, how come there are still monkeys today?"

In an Internet Movie Database post titled "I rebuke this film," someone writes, "Satan’s instruments think that we’re trying to hide ‘the truth,’ but this is REALLY, REALLY, REALLY dangerous for ppl whom aren’t strong in their faith. I was thinking of on the day of release, we don’t stop going to the theater, but in fact go see ANOTHER film to show these Satan’s instruments that we don’t care about their blasphemist work and hopefully, it won’t make prophit. Even if you’re gonna see it, can you PLZ go see it the day AFTER its release."

That’ll show ‘em!

Under "It Just Seems TOO SILLY to take seriously," one writer posts "A thriller? People dying for a painting? A painting. How about the Where’s Waldo? Code. The secret of Waldo’s location must remain hidden. The guardian of Waldo will die before disclosing his whereabouts in the picture. Especially so for the non-believers, I’m sure."

Under the same thread, another writer posts, "Previous working title for film: Opie’s Dei Out."

The threads go on and on under titles such as:

"RELIGIONS R A PIECE OF CRAP."

"What if the Da Vinci Code movie flops?"

"Religion is a design derived from worshipping extra terrestrials."

"Simple reason why homosexuality is wrong."

"OMG PEOPLE What’s the big deal?"

And then there’s the hair.

Under a thread simply called "The Hair," fans dissect Hanks’ new long tresses.

"Tom spent many months with Pauly Shore’s hair to get a feel for the part."

"Yes it makes him look like a serial killer. It does help you forget that it is Tom Hanks."

"I want to braid it! lol"

"Oh hell yeah. A French braid even."

But what does Average Joe think?

Chances are, Joe is more interested in the film itself than the controversies of the book (since that’s old news returning from its 2003 release). Will the story match the book? Will the actors capture the spirit of the characters? Will Audrey Tautou still look like a teenager? And — yeah, sure — will anyone crack the code of Hanks’ new hairstyle?

Whether the film flops, sells out, starts riots or just plain stinks won’t be known until after May 19. And we may never know whether divine intervention is on its side, against it, ambivalent or non-existent.

One thing we can call a safe bet: Average Joe cares more about gas prices than Hanks’ hair — and there’s just as little he can do about it.