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“Amateur night.”

You may hear this phrase, accompanied by a resigned sigh, when someone tries to explain why he or she won’t be going out on New Year’s Eve. The amateurs referred to are those who don’t go out on the town every other night of the year, and thus might exhibit enthusiasm, good cheer and festive behavior at their chosen celebration spot.

The fearful hipster is wary of not only showing any of these qualities but also of mingling with such guileless naïveté, and thus, just wants to “hide under a blanket at home on the couch” on New Year’s Eve. It’s tiring to be so nonchalant all the time.

Bah. The bored, jaded thing is boring.

Dress up. Choose a destination, make plans, and, as my mother always said to me, “have fun and be good.” The key here is the plan. New Year’s Eve requires a commitment. Jumping around from club to bar to club in search of better drinks, better music, better-looking people, almost never yields the desired result (but be reasonable and flexible always -- if the place really stinks, you might just stumble on to some hottie waiting for you at the bar around the corner, drunk enough to kiss you when the ball drops).

The early bird just ends up drinking the worm. Start late. Don’t show up at some bar in your best going-out-in-New-Hampshire button down shirt or FMBs at 8:30 p.m. If you need to get your drink on at home first, by all means do so (hopefully with others), but try not to arrive until at least 10:30 or 11 p.m. This way, you won’t be too drunk by midnight to actually remember the arrival of 2007, and the people chatting you up (or vice versa) won’t have time to turn from mildly interesting to seriously annoying.

Pick your poison: